VALERIE

Just keep Pushing. . .

2011-07-03T17:43:00.000-07:00

What a crazy/busy time it's been since my last update. Just a few of the main events that have happened between then and now. . . Completed my student teaching/last semester of college, applied for jobs, Graduated college, applied for more jobs, went to Hawaii for a week with my mom, applied for and interviewed for jobs, started working back at good ol' Cedar Ridge for the summer, applied and interviewed for more jobs, got a new calling in my ward. . .Relief Society Pres., and continued applying and interviewing for a teaching job. After applying for a job or two. . . now I can say I got one! :) VERY unexpectedly I was selected for an interview and offered a job to teach full day Kindergarten at my old elementary school. . .Helen M. Knight in my hometown of MOAB!!!!! and. . .I accepted their offer. They just built a new school so I will be in a brand new building, I'm so stoked!!! So in the next few weeks I will be scrambling to get my classroom set up and ready to go for the year and be moving back home. I never thought this great opportunity would come, but it has so I'll take it. In preparing my Relief Society lesson for today I shared a short story I heard at a fireside that I loved and feel applies to my life quite well so I wanted to share it. . .

A man was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light and the Savior appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might.

This the man did, day after day. For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing it with all his might. Each night the man returned to his cabin sore, and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain.

Noticing that the man was showing signs of discouragement, the adversary decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the man’s weary mind. “You have been pushing against this rock for a long time, and it hasn’t budged. Why kill yourself over this? You are never going to move it.” Thus giving the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure. These troubling thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man. “Why kill myself over this?” I’ll just put in my time, giving just the minimum effort and that will be good enough.

And that is what he planned to do until one day he decided to make it a matter of prayer and take his thoughts to the Lord. “Lord” he said, “I have labored long and hard in your service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even been able to budge that rock. What is wrong? Why am I failing?”

The Lord responded compassionately, “My friend, When I asked you to serve me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all your strength, which you have done. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push. And now you come to me with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. But, is that really so?”

“Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back sinewy and brown, your hands are callused from constant pressure, and your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have. Yet you haven’t moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your faith and trust in my wisdom. This you have done. I, my friend, will now move the rock.”

At times, when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own intellect to decipher what He wants, when actually what God wants is simple obedience and Faith in Him…

. . .I hope that I can continue pushing and working on the boulders in my life. Even during the times when I'm tired, worn out, and want to give up. I want to remember Heavenly Father has done and will continue to do the hardest part for us, and move our boulders. All we have to do is be patient and obedient to what he asks of us, and continue to push.

Winter Weather

2011-03-02T15:38:00.000-08:00

So Saturday night Steve and I had planned on going to battle of the bands but he didn't get off work till late and then bands were finished playing by the time we got there so we just left. We may or may not have decided to leave also because it reeked of weed and there was probably a good chance of getting a bit of a contact high. :) We decided to go out and enjoy the winter weather while it was here and we went out to make a snowman. Unfortunately it was not snowball snow so that was out of the question, so when life gives you non-snowball snow. . . make a snow angel. Good idea? yes and no. Yes, because it's fun, but no because it is FREEZING COLD! It snowed a good 6 in. or more in Cedar so we did have a good snowball fight and made some great snow angels and then went to Maverik to get hot chocolate. Such a fun night! Here's just a few pictures. . .

The Ups and Downs of Life

2011-02-18T18:52:00.000-08:00

So many of you reading this may think I write some personal things on here but it's because I use this as more of a journal than just a blog to keep friends and family updated on my life. The last few months have been somewhat trying. My life is not exactly where I thought it would end up. When I was young I always thought I would just grow up, go to college, and then get married. I never thought about what would happen after that. Well I grew up, went to college, almost finished with college, but still not married. My plan of 22 years is now not working out. Not that I'm necessarily complaining but like I said, not what I planned on. I've been really frustrated with trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do with my life now. Where do I go from here. Where is my "Mr. Right"? Now you may be thinking that since I've bought it up that I've had some divine inspiration on what to do and where he is, but unfortunately I still have yet to get that. But I have really tried to focus on me lately. Instead of being upset that life isn't going how I think I want it to I have tried to make the most of it and try to find the reasons why Heavenly Father has kept me here and in my present situation. Now it's still not always easy but has definitely been easier than being sad and stressed all the time. I have decided to just go on with my life and see where it leads me. I have started applying for jobs in lots of different areas; Lake Havasu Arizona, Rock Springs Wyoming, Las Vegas Nevada, and a few in the Salt Lake area. I also hope that once more openings are posed I will be able to apply for the Cedar City/St. George areas. I still have no idea where I really want to go but I am so excited to see where I end up. I don't know why I felt to write all this down but like I said this is more a journal for me than just a blog. Student teaching is still going great. I am in Kindergarten class that has 23 students in the morning and 18 in the afternoon. . . 33 total (some are all day kids). They are definitely a handful but always make me laugh! I'm really loving it and I'm so excited to have my own classroom hopefully soon! Also an update on the male situation. . . the cute cowboy I mentioned a month or so ago didn't really work out, but isn't there a saying that says something like when a door closes a window opens, or something like that. Morgan set me up on a blind date with a co-worker, and since it was even in the planning stages she insisted that we are perfect for each other and the only real problem is whose side she will sit on at our wedding. We set up a triple blind date and it went great! He is a awesome guy, so funny and genuine. We have gone out a few times since then and have some fun things planned for the long weekend so we will see how they turn out. I can only hope for the best!

The Latest

2011-02-06T11:27:00.000-08:00

Well January was my birthday month and as expected it was basically the same as all the others. No big party but I did have my blind date with that cowboy. I think it went well but I'll be surprised if I get a second one. On the plus side, Mom left my number for our cute waiter at Chili's but I still haven't heard from him so we'll see about that one. . . My friend also left my number with another cute waiter at Red Robin in St. George but no news from him either, but it is what it is. I did go to California with my Mom and Natalie to visit some family. It was a long drive for a weekend but lots of fun and definitely worth it. We found out lots of information for genealogy work will keep us busy for a while. Those were basically the highlights of the last few weeks.

Student teaching is going great. My TWS. . . well it's coming along I guess, slowly. This week I finished my first placement which was in special ed. I'm happy to be done but I miss all the kids I worked with and I was actually pretty sad on my last day working with all of them. But now I'm in a Kindergarten room with 23 students in the morning and 18 in the afternoon. What a handful! They are very busy and hard to keep track of. I'll admit I was pretty worried to start from previous bad experiences in Kindergarten classes but I have been pleasantly surprised. There are still times when I feel like I'm going crazy but overall it's gone well. My first day I mostly observed and helped keep the kids still and quite but on the second day I was put to work. I took over "opening" on the rug, which is when we recite the ABC's, practice writing sentances, counting to 20, calendar, etc. Then in the afternoon my mentor teacher had to go to a meeting at the district office so I had to take over. She was planning on only being gone about an hour but I got the schedule for the whole day just in case. Thankfully I got it because she didn't get back until 10 min. before school got out so I was solo all afternoon. I think it went well and we didn't have any major problems but I wasn't expecting to take over for the whole class my 2nd day. They kids are so cute and do the funniest things it's hard to not laugh all the time. I'm excited to see how the rest of my time in the room will go.

TWS

2011-01-25T19:42:00.001-08:00

An update from my last post: Last week went smoothly and everything went well. I got almost everything done that was on my "To do" list and my combined groups went surprisingly well. The students we so great and the TA's were a huge help. It was scary at first but was a great learning experience. So here is my newest challenge. . .

Surprisingly this semester has probably been my easiest one yet. Professors and advisors constantly try to prepare you before hand by telling you that you will be so busy and never have time and be running around like crazy during student teaching, but I'm coming to realize they were over exaggerating maybe just a little bit. I will admit I have put in the most hours each week this semester than any previous one but I've probably had the least amount of stress so it all evens out. The hardest part for me is a large project called: The Teacher Work Sample (TWS) I have to complete by the end of the semester in order to graduate. A brief summary of it would be: 10 or more lessons to teach as part of a unit of my choice. It also includes a number of papers ranging from 2-4 pages each. Keep in mind that as much as I enjoy writing, anything more than 2 pages feels like it might as well be considered a novel. I've noticed that every night I come home I'm basically done thinking about school. As of now at least, I have enough prep time throughout the day that I don't have to bring my work home with me (1st time in my entire schooling!). The bad part is that my "classes" are 40 hrs a week so it doesn't leave too much time for me to work on this extra project and still have time to be lazy or do something of my choice. . . Welcome to the working world. So. . . I haven't really started it yet. I've tried to enjoy my evenings off and just get used to my new daily routine.

I've decided I've waited long enough. This project is still sitting in the back of my mind and constantly reminding me that it's not done yet and the days are quickly going by. So I decided to make a checklist and hopefully I will help me to get started on some of the smaller parts of it and slowly work my way through it. I don't want to put it off and be stressed at the end right before graduation and still be trying to cram in all in because it actually is kind of a a big deal. . . I can't graduate without it. So we'll see how this goes. My goal is 1-2 lessons or papers per week. This will give me plenty of time to get it done quickly and also have time in the evenings to relax and do something fun. It won't be too hard to do I just can't seem to make myself get started and just do it. We'll see how this goes. . . wish me luck!

Surprise, Surprise

2011-01-17T18:28:00.000-08:00

So last week I hit the half way point in my first placement in student teaching. I guess you could say I'm more than 1/6 of the way done. Yay! Each day I learn tons of new ideas and strategies when working with kids and other teachers and TA's. Little by little my mentor teacher has been giving me more responsibility in taking over the classroom. It is harder in the resource room because you always had different students and something always comes up so the schedule is constantly changing. I feel like I'm finally kind of getting the hang of it but still not confident in a lot of things. Tonight my teacher call me and said she will be gone for the next 3 days for a funeral and that I will be taking over everything. Surprise! As if that was not enough, we have extra meetings 2 mornings before school, and 2 during lunch this week. I also have to do a few observations and fit in some extra time to start testing a student. We did have an IEP meeting scheduled for Thursday after school, but luckily she is going to reschedule it for when she will be here. Phew! Nothing like a little extra stress to help the week go by faster. I'm actually not too worried just a little, but it will definitely be different with her not there and me being in charge. It is nice having someone double check all your work and letting you know if it's right or not on a daily basis. Hopefully the week will go smoothly and no major problems come up while she's gone so I won't have to make any major decisions in her behalf.

Late Christmas

2011-01-09T09:18:00.000-08:00

Sorry for such negativity lately. My last few posts haven't been the most uplifting but I guess I just needed to vent. Yesterday was a more positive day so I thought that's something I could share. It was a late Christmas! Before I had gone home for the holidays, Morgan and I had exchanged gifts. To my great surprise she had gotten me a gift card to Cal Ranch. This is because we had been talking and I had told her how much I liked some boots that I had seen there. Being the awesome friend she is. . .she got me a gift card so that I could go pick some out. I have to also give credit to Grandma Tangren for the other half of them thanks to her annual gift of . . . cash! (unfortunately the card alone wasn't enough to buy my boots) When I got these gifts I immediately pictured new boots I wanted so much! I have been somewhat busy since I have come home and haven't had a chance to go pick them out... until yesterday. I went to the store and spent an unusually long amount of time trying to pick between 2 pairs that were almost equally cute. I finally picked the ones I liked best and well, now I own them. I only wish I could wear them to school so I could wear them all day everyday. They are so cute! Thanks Morgan and Grandma!

To top off the story I may have a chance pretty soon to get to use them for their intended purpose. A friend and I were talking about guy he knows that has horses and wants to take someone for a ride. And the good friend he is, he gave him my number and said I wanted to go for a horse ride. So there is a possibility for a blind date with a cute cowboy coming up, and I'll get to wear my boots, so things could be looking up. . . but we'll see what actually happens. But until then, I'll just break them in wearing them to the store and around the house every minute that I'm not at school so they're ready when the time comes. :)

Welcome 2011

2011-01-02T13:26:00.000-08:00

Well it's another new year and time to make some new years resolutions yet again. I really don't like making them because I always forget about them and most often forget what the even are. But there are a few things I would like to do this year because in a way I am starting a new chapter in my life. I will be graduating college and starting something new, but I still don't know what that will be. I have a few options: Start teaching, work somewhere outside of Utah for a while, go on a mission, get married, or many other things. I'm still not sure where my life will go after the next few months and consequently it gives me lots of frustration and sometimes anger. I know that I am in total control and can do whatever I want, but what causes the problem is that I don't know what I want, what is best for me, or what I'm supposed to do. I feel like I've worked and worked as long as I can remember and never really took much time to just have fun and do what I want to do. So I'm hoping that is something I can work on this year. Maybe I won't start teaching right away and I'll work at a low paying job while I live in a junky house, away from everyone I know, doing something I love equally as much. I want to do something different. Something for me. Everyone says this is the only time in your entire life where it's all about you. So far, yes it has been all about me, but I don't know if I would call it some of the funnest years of my life, but some of the longest, hardest, frustrating, stressful, and most challenging. But equally so, there have been sweet moments, happy times, great memories, learning experiences and positive examples. I guess what I'm feeling is that I have always done what was expected of me or what I was "supposed to do" or what "everyone else was doing". I wasn't opposed to doing what I've done but now I just want to take some time for myself. I want to do what I want to do. I don't care if everyone else thinks its a waste of time or money, or if it's "not what they would do". It's what I want to do. So I want to take more opportunities just to do something fun, something crazy and out of the ordinary. Because I agree, this is the only time in my life where I can do what I want and don't have to ask permission or check if it's ok. A few specific things I do want to do though are run a few half marathons, take a vacation, and meet someone.

Tis the Season. . .

2010-12-23T21:02:00.001-08:00

So I'm finally home for the holidays, and unfortunately I'm not having quite the time that I expected. While I was still in Cedar I was at home alone for the majority of the day almost every day since school ended. I watched Christmas movie after Christmas movie on TV while working on projects and then when I would get tired of them I would turn on Christmas music. I just couldn't get enough of them. Now I'm home and for some reason I'm not really feeling the Christmas spirit. I have a kind of grumpy attitude and don't feel like doing anything. I'm trying to be happy and pleasant to be around but I don't feel that It's really working that well. Maybe it's because I feel like I've been running myself ragged with an extra long semester, starting student teaching early and trying to get ready for Christmas at home and then again for it in Moab and now I am finally really feeling the effects of it. I finally have a few spare minutes and I'm bored. Free time? Who's ever heard of that! I'm so used to being so busy all the time I don't know what to do with myself. I know I just have a bad attitude and I need to just get over it and enjoy the time I have to spend with my family and make some good memories. I hate to share this bad attitude with everyone that may read this but I feel like several areas of stress in my life at this point are just starting to show themselves and I'm having a hard time keeping the negative feelings of frustration in. So sorry if I get upset easily over small meaningless things. . . but I'm working on it. On a more positive note I am almost totally ready for Christmas.

100 Things About Me - Same as Before

2010-12-11T19:26:00.001-08:00

My mom and all my sisters did this on their blogs and I thought it was really cool so I thought Id try it out.

1. I'm very self conscious
2. I don't like that I dyed my hair and wish I hadn't cut it short
3. I don't like to eat in front of people. Especially if its something you have to bite into
4. I'm a neat freak
5. I can't leave for school or anywhere without cleaning my room
6. I always close the shower curtain
7. My hands look like grandma hands
8. I love to make crafts
9. I want to make another quilt
10. I like school
11. I'm majoring in Elementary Education
12. My area of specialization is Early Childhood Education
13. I'm nervous to be responsible for teaching so many kids at once
14. I love kids
15. My biggest fear is that I will never have kids of my own
16. I love to spend time with my family
17. I believe in God
18. I try to always have an eternal perspective
19. I want to go on a mission someday
20. I like to eat junk food, especially chocolate. Chocolate covered pretzels are my favorite
21. I like to have the hiccups but I rarely get them
22. People have told me I look much older then I really am
23. People have also told me I dress like a mom, in high school my friends called me mom
24. I love to drive and go on road trips
25. I'm a worrier
26. I get headaches all the time
27. I usually have one more often than not
28. I'm trying to dress more trendy
29. Sometimes when I do I just feel silly, so I'll go change
30. I'm a very simple person
31. I usually wear jeans, t-shirt, and tennis shoes
32. Summer is my favorite season
33. I hate being cold, I'm always cold in winter
34. I like to rake leaves and do yard work.
35. I want to have a really big garden someday
36. I worked as part of the maintenance crew at a golf course last summer
37. I loved it! (and I got an awesome tan!)
38. I took an auto class in high school
39. I secretly wish i could take another one
40. I like to work on cars with my dad
41. I changed the gas tank and dropped the transmission on a 64 1/2' ford mustang. (with dad's help)
42. I like to sit in front of the stove with dad in the shop
43. I like to build things
44. I never paint my fingernails
45. My toenails are always painted
46. Maroon is my favorite color
47. I like to decorate
48. When I sew or make crafts I always make it up as I go. (I rarely follow a pattern)
49. I'm always late - even if I leave early
50. I hate being late
51. I'm very laid back
52. I'm very patient and don't get mad often
53. I would love to own a craft store someday
54. I'm pretty good at saving my money for something, but once I have enough I don't ever want to spend my money on it
55. I can easily spend hours in a craft or fabric store.
56. Sometime I forget what I'm saying in the middle of a sentence
57. When I shop I always look at the clearance racks first, if its not on sale I usually wont buy it; I'm a cheap skate
58. In almost 2 years into college I can count the number of dates I've been on on one hand.
59. I love doing things for others
60. Hamburgers are probably my favorite food. . . mustard has to go on the top bun and ketchup on the bottom.
61. I don't like my feet so I always cover them. I love shoes
62. I have really dry skin. . . I hate it.
63. I always have a bottle of lotion, some kind of aspirin, and chap stick with me
64. I daydream of designing my future home
65. I want lots of kids
66. I'm obsessive compulsive
67. If I step on a crack in the sidewalk or a rock with one foot, I have to do it with the other SO ANNOYING!
68. I love all kinds of music- I always have something playing! (even if it's just background noise)
69. Everything has to matching, If it's not I have to start over with everything new (my bath towels)
70. I love quotes
71. Soccer is my favorite sport
72. I wish I could play it everyday
73. I like to run in races, but I can't ever make myself train for them
74. I wish I could play the piano better
75. I love to sing and think I'm pretty good at it
76. I won't sing by myself when others can hear me
77. When I drive to and from school I almost always get hoarse from singing so loud
78. I wish I liked to read more
79. Whenever I watch TV or a movie I always work on a craft while doing it or I feel like I'm wasting time
80. I always fall asleep when watching movies at night, even at the theater
81. I get lonely easily
82. I basically live in my bedroom
83. I'm really shy and insecure
84. I get really nervous when I have to speak in front of people
85. I can speak Spanish but not fluently, I wish I could.
86. I'm afraid to take risks
87. When driving around town I follow the speed limit
88. When driving on the freeway I always speed
89. I can't wait to get married
90. Sometimes I wonder if I ever will
91. I'm a perfectionist
92. I'm not perfect
93. I try not to make the same mistake twice
94. Sometimes I sleep on top of my bed with just a blanket so that i don't mess up the covers
95. I hate being disorganized
96. I like to look at baby clothes when I go to the store
97. Sometimes I feel like I don't fit in anywhere and I'm all alone
98. My family and friends are my most precious possessions
99. I have a hard time accepting help from others
100. I would give everything I have to help someone else

Why do I do what I do?

2010-12-11T18:50:00.000-08:00

This week I started student teaching and I have had a lot of new experiences that I didn't expect I'd have. I started in Special Ed. and this week I got to go on a field trip for a Christmas party at the bus barn with the severe students in the district. I admit I was a little nervous when I found out I was going but a little excited. When we got to the bus barn I was a little overwhelmed, but when we got inside it was much better. They had a small school bus that was similar to a remote control car. But it was better, It was much bigger, and it had lights and it could talk. The students didn't notice but it was being controlled by one of the workers but it worked out so the students could talk and interact with "Barney" the school bus. So many of the students were fascinated and didn't want to sit down and eat pizza with their friends. The other highlight of the trip was that Santa came to visit the kids. They were so excited when he came it and started asking what they wanted for Christmas. Teachers were taking pictures and translating for students that are somewhat difficult to understand. As all this was going on I had one of those moments where you feel like you're frozen in time or kind of just zoned out I guess. But as I was watching, there was one little boy probably around 7 or 8 with down-syndrome that was talking to Santa. He turned around to have his picture taken and he had the biggest smile on his face. Probably bigger than any of the other kids. When I saw this I could just feel the tears welling up in my eyes. Here I was surrounded by little children all struggling with some kind of severe disability that greatly affects their daily life, and they will never be cured from. The look on this boys face was pure joy. As I sat at watched him I couldn't help but feel guilty. On a daily basis I take for granted my physical and mental abilities. I complain and even let them go to waste. I thought, how often do I drive because I'm too tired when there are some that can only dream of being able to walk, or just use a calculator when some aren't able to understand or remember simple addition and subtraction facts. I tried to hide my emotions as quickly as I realized I was about to have tears running down my face but it's easier said than done. Since then I've looked at working with these students in a different way. Even the smallest gains are huge victories for them. It's definitely not always easy and usually difficult and frustrating, but it's when you see those little improvements and the pure joy on their face it makes it all worth it. -And that's why I do what I do.

Thoughts of the Day

2010-12-03T21:28:00.001-08:00

So thinking through how my day went yesterday. Pretty well overall. The last day of classes and the last day that I will have classes on campus. A pretty weird feeling, but a good one. A girl in my class has been talking about staying positive and having a better attitude about life. I was thinking of this last night and decided that's actually a great idea and I should try it too. She keeps a little notebook with her and she writes cute quotes or idea that she hears in it. One I heard recently was from a girl in my ward who was speaking about being thankful. She read a quote that was something similar to this.

I am thankful...

.. for the husband who complains when his dinner is
not on time, because it means he is home with me, not
with someone else.
.. for the teenager who is complaining about doing
dishes, because it means she/he is at home, not on the
streets.
.. for the taxes that I pay, because it means that I
am employed .
.. for the mess to clean after a party, because it
means that I have been surrounded by friends.
.. for the clothes that fit a little too snug,
because it means I have enough to eat.
.. for my shadow that watches me work, because it
means I am out in the sunshine.
.. for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need
cleaning, and gutters that need fixing, because it
means I have a home.
.. for all the complaining I hear about the
Government, because it means we have freedom of speech.
.. for the parking spot I find at the far end of the
parking lot, because it means I am capable of
walking, and that I have been blessed with
transportation.
.. for my huge heating bill, because it means I am
warm.
.. for the lady behind me in church that sings off
key, because it means that I can hear.
.. for the pile of laundry and ironing, because it
means I have clothes to wear.
.. for weariness and aching muscles at the end of the
day, because it means I have been capable of working
hard and using those limbs.
.. for the alarm that goes off in the early morning,
because it means that I am alive.
.... and for too much e-mail, because it means I have
friends who are thinking of me and are trying to make
me smile even when they are out of touch.

I really liked this and made me think of all the complaining I do about the blessing I have in my life. I'm trying to look at life in a more positive way and be grateful for what I have and count my many blessings.

Needing an Update

2010-12-02T21:28:00.000-08:00

So Amy just told me that she has a blog and Skyler and they update them almost daily. Then she says: I looked up your blog and last time you updated it was. . . a year ago! Yes I know that I'm not the greatest at keeping it updated but I do what I can. Or maybe not really. Maybe I forgot that it had been that long since the last update. The last post was my New Year's resolutions for 2010 and I was thinking maybe I should just wait a few weeks and change the date to 2011 and just make this my blog for New Year's Resolutions. Maybe not. School has been very busy and quite the learning experience this semester, in a good way. I'm finally only 1 semester away from my bachelors degree. I can hardly wait! Life has been so uncertain in the last few months with school, boys, and everything in between. It has made me realize how much life can change in such a short time. There's only 2 days of school left this semester and then I start right away with student teaching the next day. Not much a break if you ask me. But I'm glad to get started sooner. . . that means I'll be done sooner. This was a pretty random post and is just a glimpse of what has sort of been going on. Hopefully I can do better at keeping this updated but it will be busy so I'm promising anything.

New Years Resolutions

2010-01-17T21:42:00.000-08:00

So I've set some new years resolutions this year. I never usually do but I figure that when you set goals and write them out you are much more likely to actually do them. I've thought about a lot of things in my life I would like to work on and and set a few goals for myself to help.

1. Attend more of my church meetings
2. Exercise 5 days a week for at least 30 min
3. Eat healthier
4. Cook more
5. Socialize, meet new people, and make friends
6. Spend more time with my family

So far I have done pretty well with working towards my goals. I have gone to almost all my meetings. I got a gym pass and have been to the gym at least 5 days each week. I also am cooking more good meals and also eating healthier snacks throughout the day. I have made small steps towards meeting new people in my ward at various activities and also at school. Spending time with my family is tough since I live so far away from them but I try to call more often "just to chat" instead of only when I need to ask someone something. I also have signed up to run a half marathon with a friend. This has helped me really focus on exercising daily. I hope that I can focus on my goals throughout the year and not just for a few weeks or months.

School Days

2009-11-28T20:07:00.000-08:00

So I don't ever update my blog and I have been thinking about doing it often lately but I didn't know what to post. I decided since I don't have any recent pictures or big news I would at least change my background and give it a new look that fits what my life has been focused around lately. I have now been attending school for almost 16 months straight with the exception of about 4 weeks (not consecutive). It has kept me very busy! Over the summer I worked at Cedar Ridge Golf Course full time again and it keeps getting funner. I also had 4 classes to take care of. I finally got a little break when the regular fall semester actually started. It has gone pretty well overall. Lots of homework, presentations, interviews, tutoring at the elementary schools, making books, games, and paperwork to fill out. Only 1 week left of classes and finals week until the semester is finally over. This semester I started the first part of what is called the SPED block. It consists of 9 credits of Special Education classes. I also had the last 2 classes that count toward my elementary ed. degree. I have decided to double major in Special Education (mild/moderate), and in Elementary Education. I will also have minor in Early Childhood Education. I have 3 semesters left and one class over next summer. I'm finally starting to see a little light at the end of the tunnel but not much of one. It's exciting to think I am almost done but a little scary at the same time thinking I will soon be finished with school and have to find an actual job and start teaching kids. I love when I get to go the Elementary schools and tutor kids. It gives you such a sense of importance and that you are making a difference in the world. When a student that can't read practices with you everyday and you watch them struggle it breaks your heart. After you practice and practice with programs and flashcards and book after book and they look up at you and you see the biggest smile on their face and they are so excited they finally can say "I can do it!" it just melts your heart. It gives you such a sense of accomplishment and makes you want to help them even more. After helping a child succeed, nothing can make you look back and say all the late nights and hard work "after hours" wasn't worth it. I love school and all the opportunities it provides me with. Although I love it I still can't wait to be done. I look forward to having my own class where my students and I can work on projects together. We can learn and practice reading and writing and how to count and spell. We can learn our shapes and make arts and crafts. We can make homemade Christmas presents and send them home to parents for the holidays. We'll have Valentines and St. Patrick's day parties, watch movies and make popcorn, and hunt for leprechauns around the school. To some all this may seem "little kiddish", but then I guess maybe I am just a little kid in an adult body. I love kids movies and may even laugh harder than they do when watching them. I love the simple things in life. Kids keep everything interesting and are always excited and eager to try new things. Everyday at work will always be different and no two students will ever be the same. But if you love what you do you can't call it work. I can't wait to go to work and play all day long.

Black Ice?

2009-03-25T19:41:00.000-07:00

The next big "event" of the month wasn't as fun as the last weekend get away. It's kind of long and probably confusing, but I'm adding in lots of detail, and all my thoughts that I never actually said (some or most of you may not know that I had). But I hope it makes sense when you read it.

I had made last minute plans, as usual. My last class ended at 3:00 on Friday. I couldn't decide if I was going to go home for the weekend. I had thought about it all week but just couldn't make up my mind. It was Spencer's Jr. prom (a big deal in Moab) so I should go, but spring break starts next weekend. . . can I afford to make 2 trips home right in a row, I should stay in Cedar. While talking to mom on the phone I decided I was going to go, I didn't care about the cost, I wanted to see my family and especially support my little brother on his big day. I ended up having to work so I went home and packed so I could leave strait from work. When I finally got off work I quickly got my dinner packed up and refilled my soda, I thought I might need it to make sure I stayed awake on the long drive.

I had enough gas in the car to make it to Richfield for sure, but I didn't want to make any stops on the way so I decided to fill the car the rest of the way so I could be on my way. I ate a few bites of dinner and then saved the rest for whenever I got hungry, it was getting late. As I pulled away from the gas pump I had a feeling I needed to send mom a text that I was on my way. That's weird I thought, I usually don't send her one until I'm already actually on the freeway "on my way". Oh well, I sent her one anyway. Before I had even left the city limits I could see small flurries of snow starting to fall. Immediately I thought, "I really don't want to drive in the snow tonight, I'm in a hurry! I don't even care, I'm going anyway." Mom had asked me if I should just wait and come in the morning since it was almost 9:00. Right away I disagreed, I'm already on my way, and by the time I go home and go to bed it will be late so I won't be able to wake up in the morning and the day will be half over before I get to Moab and make it almost pointless to have driven over there anyway. I'm coming tonight. I sent her another text that said something like "I'm still coming tonight. I'll be safe. I love you". I don't know why, but when I'm driving home I don't think I have ever sent her a text while driving that included " I love you". I remember I had a feeling that I needed to say it, but again, I didn't think anything of it.

The snow was starting to fall faster and faster. The thought came to me "maybe I should stay here tonight and just go in the morning", no! I talked myself out of it, I need to get there tonight. Now the snow was really coming down, but still the roads were only wet. The only thing I was worried about was driving so slow-I was in a hurry. Well, that thought kept coming to me that I should stay. Finally I had decided, I will get off the freeway at the next exit and I'll really think about it. While driving I called my mom to ask the number for road conditions. I got the number, she said she was going call also and see what the weather was going to be like for my drive home. We both called, and she heard the conditions before I did so she called me back. I was still on the phone with them listening for I70 road conditions. I transferred over to her call and told her I hadn't heard them yet, and she said "well I'll let you go so you can hear them" and I replied, "why don't you just tell them to me since you know what they are". (Thankfully!) At this point I realized I was on speaker phone so I could hear my family and they could hear me. She said "they are. . . um I forgot them already". I could hear everyone laughing and at that moment my heart started to race.

I was just north of Parown, I had missed the exit where I was going to stop to "think about staying", so I was looking for the next one. By now the snow was really starting to stick. I was driving in the right lane. I let off the gas to slow down so I could move into the left lane, it looked much more clear of snow than the one I was in. I remember thinking to not make sudden movements because I don't know how slick the road is. I slightly turned the wheel to move over. Naturally there was snow piled in between the lanes where no cars had driven. I remember thinking it looked kind of deep but not as bad as I have seen before. My tires hit the snow (or possible ice beneath it) and I felt the car start to slide. As I was still on the phone, and could hear my family laughing. I said "mom" in a shaky voice trying to stay calm, but I didn't think she heard me. So I said it again "mom" (more loudly), I didn't want to yell because I didn't want to worry her but I needed to get her attention. I didn't know what I was going to tell her, but I know I needed her to hear me.

The next minute or so went by so fast, but in slow motion at the same time. The car was sliding. The next thing I felt I knew I was spinning towards the median. I could see car lights all around me it seemed. All I could think of was don't slam on the breaks. For a minute it felt like it was smooth spinning, but then immediately it changed. I was still spinning, but it was very bumpy. I knew my car wasn't on the road anymore. I didn't know fast my car was moving but I knew it was headed in the direction of oncoming traffic. I think that was the moment real panic hit. I knew there was nothing I could do, and I remember then pushing on the breaks harder than I ever have before. I was just waiting for another car to hit mine, and I was just praying that it would be on the passengers side. Now I wasn't just spinning, but starting to roll. Boxes that were in the back seat were now next to me in front. I knew this was getting really bad. I opened my eyes and saw the plastic paneling that covered my seat belt break off the car. I felt something cold all over me. I thought for sure the window broke and I was covered with snow and glass. I had so many thought going through my head. Keep you head down so the top of the car doesn't hit it. Watch out for broken glass everywhere, so you don't get cut. Don't hit your head on the windshield. I closed my eyes and waited for it all to end.

I finally stopped moving and opened my eyes and tried to get them to focus. I realized I was still holding the phone to my ear. What was I going to tell mom? I didn't want her to worry her but I had to tell her what happened. "Mom, I just got in a wreck, but I'm ok. I'm upside down, but I'm ok." I don't remember our exact conversation in the next minute or so. Mom and dad asked where I was, just past Parowan but I really didn't know where exactly. I said I'm ok again and that I needed to go so I could call 911 and people had stopped to help me. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to have a delayed reaction from the airbag or something, so as I was just hanging by my seat belt, I was afraid to move or touch anything. After a few tries the people that had stopped to help were finally able to open my door and I was able to get out. As far as I could tell I wasn't hurt, but I think in a little bit of shock and wearing half of my dinner. I was breathing hard trying to keep my composure. While I was in the car on the phone with my family I remember thinking I need to keep them calm so they don't worry too much. I don't want them to worry and I need them to know that I'm ok. I think my efforts to keep them calm is really what kept me calm. Luckily we were right near a rest stop and I was taken there to wait for the police and EMT's to come.

A few minutes later and after lots of questioning they found I had no apparent serious injuries and let me decide if I wanted to go to the hospital. All I wanted to do was go home. My parents had made several phone calls and were able to get a hold of my bishop and some friends. I waited in the police car for the tow truck to come turn the car over so I could get a few things out that I needed for the night. Finally after a few hours, I got home and was greeted by the bishop and several close friends. I'll never forget how grateful I was for them as I was that night. I spent the night a their house and they took such good care of me. I was worried my parents would come to see me and miss watching Spencer go to prom. I knew it was so important to him. I wasn't able to sleep much that night. It seemed my heart just wouldn't stop racing and thought's wouldn't let my mind rest. "What if I have internal injuries that I can't feel yet?" I have a hard time accepting help, so It was hard for me to let others do everything for me. I felt so helpless.

As I look back I see I had the spirit with me guiding and protecting me. I didn't notice then, but now I see all the small things I did differently because of small promptings I felt. I was able to walk away without a single bruise or cut. Just back aches these days. Mom told me a statistic she herd: a rollover accident on the freeway has a 50% fatality rate. It wasn't until I heard that when I really realized just how lucky I am. Not only to still be alive, but to have been able to walk away unharmed. I am so thankful for Heavenly Father that I was able to have the spirit with me to guide and protect me in such a terrible circumstance. I love my family and friends so much and something like this really puts in perspective the things that are most important in your life.

Here are a few after pictures. . . I don't have any before. . .

The tracks from my car when it slid into the median

At the wrecking yard. . .
A look inside. . .

All Girls Weekend

2009-03-25T19:22:00.000-07:00

While I have a free minute I figured I needed to do some updating. Needless to say, a lot has happened this month. . .

The first big event was the girls weekend together. It was a bit chaotic trying to get all the girls together, but at the last minute we were all able to make it up to American Fork for a little partying. Mom and I were the last ones to get there and so we all met up at Natalie's house and then we headed strait to Olive Garden for dinner. It was delicious! Then we went back to Natalie's and she gave us all a quick blogging lesson (which I'm finally putting to good use) and the we went to Sub-Zero for a little dessert. I had heard of this "fabulous" ice cream, but I had yet to taste it for myself. I got raspberry chocolate chunk, and I'll admit. . . it was fabulous.

On Saturday we did some shopping and then we made dinner at Sarah's house and made some cards. I brought my cricket and all my paper and supplies, and Natalie also brought her's, so between the two of us we had plenty to keep us busy while we watched a movie and relaxed.

I think this was the first time just the girls were able to spend a weekend together, at least that I can remember. It was really great! I forget how great my mom and sisters are when I don't get to see them for a long time. We laughed so much and had a great time together. I love them so much and I'm so blessed to have them in my life.

Winter Weddings!

2009-01-23T21:30:00.001-08:00

This winter the weddings began! First was Ashley's on Jan. 2nd. She was married in the Timpanogos Temple in American Fork. Amberlee, Jessica, Athena, and I all drove up the day before to start the parties and preparations. We went to a lunch-in at the Olive Garden for the Bride, Groom, Bridesmaids, and Groomsmen. We all split up and then the girls took Ashley shopping for the rest of the day. We spent the night before chatting and reminiscing about our high school days. We painted our nails and prepared for the big day. Friday morning we all got up early got ready and headed to the temple in early afternoon. There was much excitement in the waiting room and every chair was filled. After they came out we took pictures and headed to Salt Lake for the reception that night. They were beautiful and so very happy together! Needless to say. . . everything went well. The reception in Moab also went well. I caught the bouquet and one of the groomsmen caught the garter.
The next wedding was my previous roommate Mindy. She met her husband through a longtime pen pal from Brazil. They started dating right away and were engaged after only a few months. She moved to North Carolina to be closer to Tales in August. They were married on Jan. 17 in the Bountiful Temple. I was able to go to the open house in St. George and it was beautiful. The room was filled with candle light and pictures of new happy couple. Tales' family was able to come for the wedding from Brazil. They were in the U.S. for about two and a half weeks visiting and sight seeing. I will miss the late night talks with my roommates but I couldn't be happier for them both as they start their new lives with their eternal companions.

School

2009-01-23T21:15:00.000-08:00

This semester I am finally finishing up my generals. I'm planning on getting my Associates Degree this May and I'm hoping to get a job at a local elementary school. Last semester and this one I've really been able to get more experience actually working in classroom. I love working with the kids and I love to see them succeed. Today for one of my classes we administered the DIBLES reading assessment to 3rd and 5th graders at a nearby school. For my other classes I don't have much homework yet but soon everything will come all at once. So far my college experience hasn't been too hard. My hardest classes have been my generals and my education classes are a breeze. I'm hoping to finish school in just over a year from now. It will be hard, I will have to take as many credits possible each semester and classes over the summer but if I do, I could start teaching in the fall of 2010.

2008-10-04T12:38:00.001-07:00