Why do I do what I do?

This week I started student teaching and I have had a lot of new experiences that I didn't expect I'd have. I started in Special Ed. and this week I got to go on a field trip for a Christmas party at the bus barn with the severe students in the district. I admit I was a little nervous when I found out I was going but a little excited. When we got to the bus barn I was a little overwhelmed, but when we got inside it was much better. They had a small school bus that was similar to a remote control car. But it was better, It was much bigger, and it had lights and it could talk. The students didn't notice but it was being controlled by one of the workers but it worked out so the students could talk and interact with "Barney" the school bus. So many of the students were fascinated and didn't want to sit down and eat pizza with their friends. The other highlight of the trip was that Santa came to visit the kids. They were so excited when he came it and started asking what they wanted for Christmas. Teachers were taking pictures and translating for students that are somewhat difficult to understand. As all this was going on I had one of those moments where you feel like you're frozen in time or kind of just zoned out I guess. But as I was watching, there was one little boy probably around 7 or 8 with down-syndrome that was talking to Santa. He turned around to have his picture taken and he had the biggest smile on his face. Probably bigger than any of the other kids. When I saw this I could just feel the tears welling up in my eyes. Here I was surrounded by little children all struggling with some kind of severe disability that greatly affects their daily life, and they will never be cured from. The look on this boys face was pure joy. As I sat at watched him I couldn't help but feel guilty. On a daily basis I take for granted my physical and mental abilities. I complain and even let them go to waste. I thought, how often do I drive because I'm too tired when there are some that can only dream of being able to walk, or just use a calculator when some aren't able to understand or remember simple addition and subtraction facts. I tried to hide my emotions as quickly as I realized I was about to have tears running down my face but it's easier said than done. Since then I've looked at working with these students in a different way. Even the smallest gains are huge victories for them. It's definitely not always easy and usually difficult and frustrating, but it's when you see those little improvements and the pure joy on their face it makes it all worth it. -And that's why I do what I do.