Welcome 2011

Well it's another new year and time to make some new years resolutions yet again. I really don't like making them because I always forget about them and most often forget what the even are. But there are a few things I would like to do this year because in a way I am starting a new chapter in my life. I will be graduating college and starting something new, but I still don't know what that will be. I have a few options: Start teaching, work somewhere outside of Utah for a while, go on a mission, get married, or many other things. I'm still not sure where my life will go after the next few months and consequently it gives me lots of frustration and sometimes anger. I know that I am in total control and can do whatever I want, but what causes the problem is that I don't know what I want, what is best for me, or what I'm supposed to do. I feel like I've worked and worked as long as I can remember and never really took much time to just have fun and do what I want to do. So I'm hoping that is something I can work on this year. Maybe I won't start teaching right away and I'll work at a low paying job while I live in a junky house, away from everyone I know, doing something I love equally as much. I want to do something different. Something for me. Everyone says this is the only time in your entire life where it's all about you. So far, yes it has been all about me, but I don't know if I would call it some of the funnest years of my life, but some of the longest, hardest, frustrating, stressful, and most challenging. But equally so, there have been sweet moments, happy times, great memories, learning experiences and positive examples. I guess what I'm feeling is that I have always done what was expected of me or what I was "supposed to do" or what "everyone else was doing". I wasn't opposed to doing what I've done but now I just want to take some time for myself. I want to do what I want to do. I don't care if everyone else thinks its a waste of time or money, or if it's "not what they would do". It's what I want to do. So I want to take more opportunities just to do something fun, something crazy and out of the ordinary. Because I agree, this is the only time in my life where I can do what I want and don't have to ask permission or check if it's ok. A few specific things I do want to do though are run a few half marathons, take a vacation, and meet someone.