TWS

An update from my last post: Last week went smoothly and everything went well. I got almost everything done that was on my "To do" list and my combined groups went surprisingly well. The students we so great and the TA's were a huge help. It was scary at first but was a great learning experience. So here is my newest challenge. . .

Surprisingly this semester has probably been my easiest one yet. Professors and advisors constantly try to prepare you before hand by telling you that you will be so busy and never have time and be running around like crazy during student teaching, but I'm coming to realize they were over exaggerating maybe just a little bit. I will admit I have put in the most hours each week this semester than any previous one but I've probably had the least amount of stress so it all evens out. The hardest part for me is a large project called: The Teacher Work Sample (TWS) I have to complete by the end of the semester in order to graduate. A brief summary of it would be: 10 or more lessons to teach as part of a unit of my choice. It also includes a number of papers ranging from 2-4 pages each. Keep in mind that as much as I enjoy writing, anything more than 2 pages feels like it might as well be considered a novel. I've noticed that every night I come home I'm basically done thinking about school. As of now at least, I have enough prep time throughout the day that I don't have to bring my work home with me (1st time in my entire schooling!). The bad part is that my "classes" are 40 hrs a week so it doesn't leave too much time for me to work on this extra project and still have time to be lazy or do something of my choice. . . Welcome to the working world. So. . . I haven't really started it yet. I've tried to enjoy my evenings off and just get used to my new daily routine.

I've decided I've waited long enough. This project is still sitting in the back of my mind and constantly reminding me that it's not done yet and the days are quickly going by. So I decided to make a checklist and hopefully I will help me to get started on some of the smaller parts of it and slowly work my way through it. I don't want to put it off and be stressed at the end right before graduation and still be trying to cram in all in because it actually is kind of a a big deal. . . I can't graduate without it. So we'll see how this goes. My goal is 1-2 lessons or papers per week. This will give me plenty of time to get it done quickly and also have time in the evenings to relax and do something fun. It won't be too hard to do I just can't seem to make myself get started and just do it. We'll see how this goes. . . wish me luck!

Surprise, Surprise

So last week I hit the half way point in my first placement in student teaching. I guess you could say I'm more than 1/6 of the way done. Yay! Each day I learn tons of new ideas and strategies when working with kids and other teachers and TA's. Little by little my mentor teacher has been giving me more responsibility in taking over the classroom. It is harder in the resource room because you always had different students and something always comes up so the schedule is constantly changing. I feel like I'm finally kind of getting the hang of it but still not confident in a lot of things. Tonight my teacher call me and said she will be gone for the next 3 days for a funeral and that I will be taking over everything. Surprise! As if that was not enough, we have extra meetings 2 mornings before school, and 2 during lunch this week. I also have to do a few observations and fit in some extra time to start testing a student. We did have an IEP meeting scheduled for Thursday after school, but luckily she is going to reschedule it for when she will be here. Phew! Nothing like a little extra stress to help the week go by faster. I'm actually not too worried just a little, but it will definitely be different with her not there and me being in charge. It is nice having someone double check all your work and letting you know if it's right or not on a daily basis. Hopefully the week will go smoothly and no major problems come up while she's gone so I won't have to make any major decisions in her behalf.

Late Christmas

Sorry for such negativity lately. My last few posts haven't been the most uplifting but I guess I just needed to vent. Yesterday was a more positive day so I thought that's something I could share. It was a late Christmas! Before I had gone home for the holidays, Morgan and I had exchanged gifts. To my great surprise she had gotten me a gift card to Cal Ranch. This is because we had been talking and I had told her how much I liked some boots that I had seen there. Being the awesome friend she is. . .she got me a gift card so that I could go pick some out. I have to also give credit to Grandma Tangren for the other half of them thanks to her annual gift of . . . cash! (unfortunately the card alone wasn't enough to buy my boots) When I got these gifts I immediately pictured new boots I wanted so much! I have been somewhat busy since I have come home and haven't had a chance to go pick them out... until yesterday. I went to the store and spent an unusually long amount of time trying to pick between 2 pairs that were almost equally cute. I finally picked the ones I liked best and well, now I own them. I only wish I could wear them to school so I could wear them all day everyday. They are so cute! Thanks Morgan and Grandma!


To top off the story I may have a chance pretty soon to get to use them for their intended purpose. A friend and I were talking about guy he knows that has horses and wants to take someone for a ride. And the good friend he is, he gave him my number and said I wanted to go for a horse ride. So there is a possibility for a blind date with a cute cowboy coming up, and I'll get to wear my boots, so things could be looking up. . . but we'll see what actually happens. But until then, I'll just break them in wearing them to the store and around the house every minute that I'm not at school so they're ready when the time comes. :)

Welcome 2011

Well it's another new year and time to make some new years resolutions yet again. I really don't like making them because I always forget about them and most often forget what the even are. But there are a few things I would like to do this year because in a way I am starting a new chapter in my life. I will be graduating college and starting something new, but I still don't know what that will be. I have a few options: Start teaching, work somewhere outside of Utah for a while, go on a mission, get married, or many other things. I'm still not sure where my life will go after the next few months and consequently it gives me lots of frustration and sometimes anger. I know that I am in total control and can do whatever I want, but what causes the problem is that I don't know what I want, what is best for me, or what I'm supposed to do. I feel like I've worked and worked as long as I can remember and never really took much time to just have fun and do what I want to do. So I'm hoping that is something I can work on this year. Maybe I won't start teaching right away and I'll work at a low paying job while I live in a junky house, away from everyone I know, doing something I love equally as much. I want to do something different. Something for me. Everyone says this is the only time in your entire life where it's all about you. So far, yes it has been all about me, but I don't know if I would call it some of the funnest years of my life, but some of the longest, hardest, frustrating, stressful, and most challenging. But equally so, there have been sweet moments, happy times, great memories, learning experiences and positive examples. I guess what I'm feeling is that I have always done what was expected of me or what I was "supposed to do" or what "everyone else was doing". I wasn't opposed to doing what I've done but now I just want to take some time for myself. I want to do what I want to do. I don't care if everyone else thinks its a waste of time or money, or if it's "not what they would do". It's what I want to do. So I want to take more opportunities just to do something fun, something crazy and out of the ordinary. Because I agree, this is the only time in my life where I can do what I want and don't have to ask permission or check if it's ok. A few specific things I do want to do though are run a few half marathons, take a vacation, and meet someone.

Tis the Season. . .

So I'm finally home for the holidays, and unfortunately I'm not having quite the time that I expected. While I was still in Cedar I was at home alone for the majority of the day almost every day since school ended. I watched Christmas movie after Christmas movie on TV while working on projects and then when I would get tired of them I would turn on Christmas music. I just couldn't get enough of them. Now I'm home and for some reason I'm not really feeling the Christmas spirit. I have a kind of grumpy attitude and don't feel like doing anything. I'm trying to be happy and pleasant to be around but I don't feel that It's really working that well. Maybe it's because I feel like I've been running myself ragged with an extra long semester, starting student teaching early and trying to get ready for Christmas at home and then again for it in Moab and now I am finally really feeling the effects of it. I finally have a few spare minutes and I'm bored. Free time? Who's ever heard of that! I'm so used to being so busy all the time I don't know what to do with myself. I know I just have a bad attitude and I need to just get over it and enjoy the time I have to spend with my family and make some good memories. I hate to share this bad attitude with everyone that may read this but I feel like several areas of stress in my life at this point are just starting to show themselves and I'm having a hard time keeping the negative feelings of frustration in. So sorry if I get upset easily over small meaningless things. . . but I'm working on it. On a more positive note I am almost totally ready for Christmas.

100 Things About Me - Same as Before

My mom and all my sisters did this on their blogs and I thought it was really cool so I thought Id try it out.

1. I'm very self conscious
2. I don't like that I dyed my hair and wish I hadn't cut it short
3. I don't like to eat in front of people. Especially if its something you have to bite into
4. I'm a neat freak
5. I can't leave for school or anywhere without cleaning my room
6. I always close the shower curtain
7. My hands look like grandma hands
8. I love to make crafts
9. I want to make another quilt
10. I like school
11. I'm majoring in Elementary Education
12. My area of specialization is Early Childhood Education
13. I'm nervous to be responsible for teaching so many kids at once
14. I love kids
15. My biggest fear is that I will never have kids of my own
16. I love to spend time with my family
17. I believe in God
18. I try to always have an eternal perspective
19. I want to go on a mission someday
20. I like to eat junk food, especially chocolate. Chocolate covered pretzels are my favorite
21. I like to have the hiccups but I rarely get them
22. People have told me I look much older then I really am
23. People have also told me I dress like a mom, in high school my friends called me mom
24. I love to drive and go on road trips
25. I'm a worrier
26. I get headaches all the time
27. I usually have one more often than not
28. I'm trying to dress more trendy
29. Sometimes when I do I just feel silly, so I'll go change
30. I'm a very simple person
31. I usually wear jeans, t-shirt, and tennis shoes
32. Summer is my favorite season
33. I hate being cold, I'm always cold in winter
34. I like to rake leaves and do yard work.
35. I want to have a really big garden someday
36. I worked as part of the maintenance crew at a golf course last summer
37. I loved it! (and I got an awesome tan!)
38. I took an auto class in high school
39. I secretly wish i could take another one
40. I like to work on cars with my dad
41. I changed the gas tank and dropped the transmission on a 64 1/2' ford mustang. (with dad's help)
42. I like to sit in front of the stove with dad in the shop
43. I like to build things
44. I never paint my fingernails
45. My toenails are always painted
46. Maroon is my favorite color
47. I like to decorate
48. When I sew or make crafts I always make it up as I go. (I rarely follow a pattern)
49. I'm always late - even if I leave early
50. I hate being late
51. I'm very laid back
52. I'm very patient and don't get mad often
53. I would love to own a craft store someday
54. I'm pretty good at saving my money for something, but once I have enough I don't ever want to spend my money on it
55. I can easily spend hours in a craft or fabric store.
56. Sometime I forget what I'm saying in the middle of a sentence
57. When I shop I always look at the clearance racks first, if its not on sale I usually wont buy it; I'm a cheap skate
58. In almost 2 years into college I can count the number of dates I've been on on one hand.
59. I love doing things for others
60. Hamburgers are probably my favorite food. . . mustard has to go on the top bun and ketchup on the bottom.
61. I don't like my feet so I always cover them. I love shoes
62. I have really dry skin. . . I hate it.
63. I always have a bottle of lotion, some kind of aspirin, and chap stick with me
64. I daydream of designing my future home
65. I want lots of kids
66. I'm obsessive compulsive
67. If I step on a crack in the sidewalk or a rock with one foot, I have to do it with the other SO ANNOYING!
68. I love all kinds of music- I always have something playing! (even if it's just background noise)
69. Everything has to matching, If it's not I have to start over with everything new (my bath towels)
70. I love quotes
71. Soccer is my favorite sport
72. I wish I could play it everyday
73. I like to run in races, but I can't ever make myself train for them
74. I wish I could play the piano better
75. I love to sing and think I'm pretty good at it
76. I won't sing by myself when others can hear me
77. When I drive to and from school I almost always get hoarse from singing so loud
78. I wish I liked to read more
79. Whenever I watch TV or a movie I always work on a craft while doing it or I feel like I'm wasting time
80. I always fall asleep when watching movies at night, even at the theater
81. I get lonely easily
82. I basically live in my bedroom
83. I'm really shy and insecure
84. I get really nervous when I have to speak in front of people
85. I can speak Spanish but not fluently, I wish I could.
86. I'm afraid to take risks
87. When driving around town I follow the speed limit
88. When driving on the freeway I always speed
89. I can't wait to get married
90. Sometimes I wonder if I ever will
91. I'm a perfectionist
92. I'm not perfect
93. I try not to make the same mistake twice
94. Sometimes I sleep on top of my bed with just a blanket so that i don't mess up the covers
95. I hate being disorganized
96. I like to look at baby clothes when I go to the store
97. Sometimes I feel like I don't fit in anywhere and I'm all alone
98. My family and friends are my most precious possessions
99. I have a hard time accepting help from others
100. I would give everything I have to help someone else

Why do I do what I do?

This week I started student teaching and I have had a lot of new experiences that I didn't expect I'd have. I started in Special Ed. and this week I got to go on a field trip for a Christmas party at the bus barn with the severe students in the district. I admit I was a little nervous when I found out I was going but a little excited. When we got to the bus barn I was a little overwhelmed, but when we got inside it was much better. They had a small school bus that was similar to a remote control car. But it was better, It was much bigger, and it had lights and it could talk. The students didn't notice but it was being controlled by one of the workers but it worked out so the students could talk and interact with "Barney" the school bus. So many of the students were fascinated and didn't want to sit down and eat pizza with their friends. The other highlight of the trip was that Santa came to visit the kids. They were so excited when he came it and started asking what they wanted for Christmas. Teachers were taking pictures and translating for students that are somewhat difficult to understand. As all this was going on I had one of those moments where you feel like you're frozen in time or kind of just zoned out I guess. But as I was watching, there was one little boy probably around 7 or 8 with down-syndrome that was talking to Santa. He turned around to have his picture taken and he had the biggest smile on his face. Probably bigger than any of the other kids. When I saw this I could just feel the tears welling up in my eyes. Here I was surrounded by little children all struggling with some kind of severe disability that greatly affects their daily life, and they will never be cured from. The look on this boys face was pure joy. As I sat at watched him I couldn't help but feel guilty. On a daily basis I take for granted my physical and mental abilities. I complain and even let them go to waste. I thought, how often do I drive because I'm too tired when there are some that can only dream of being able to walk, or just use a calculator when some aren't able to understand or remember simple addition and subtraction facts. I tried to hide my emotions as quickly as I realized I was about to have tears running down my face but it's easier said than done. Since then I've looked at working with these students in a different way. Even the smallest gains are huge victories for them. It's definitely not always easy and usually difficult and frustrating, but it's when you see those little improvements and the pure joy on their face it makes it all worth it. -And that's why I do what I do.